Waiting for God’s Best with DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good
DeVon Franklin is a studio executive described early in his career as a wunderkind and whose production credits include box office hits like “The Karate Kid” (remake), “The Pursuit of Happyness,” and faith-based titles like “Heaven Is for Real” and “Miracles From Heaven” to name a few. In addition to his commitment to film, Franklin is an ordained minister and also co-wrote the New York Times bestseller, The Wait, with wife, film and television actress Meagan Good. Good, who has been acting since the age of four, has been in numerous films ranging from Stomp the Yard to Think Like A Man, and television shows including the NBC drama Deception, Fox’s Minority Report and CBS’ Code Black. Referred to as a Hollywood power couple, Franklin and Good strive to maintain authenticity and integrity in their work. Together the two wrote the book, The Wait. Neither came into the relationship as virgins, but together they made the decision to wait until they got married, if that was even going to happen, to have sex. Risen met with the couple in 2017 who shared candidly and talked about their marriage and the faith that brought them together.
Good shares her encouragement to others that might not be virgins going into a dating relationship.
“I think God knows our hearts and I really wanted to be obedient to what I already believed. I always felt conflicted about sex and I always felt a conviction about it throughout my twenties. It is an area where Christians are kind of just doing what they want. But there is nothing more amazing than turning back to God about something that is the hardest thing to do and really being obedient in an area that is often overlooked. I think regardless if you have had sex before, or how many people you have been with, there is always a chance to start fresh. A lot of times when you bring sex into the equation, even if it’s not early on and it is a few months down the line, that becomes kind of the base that everything is built on and then I don’t think you see the person for who they really are. I would say it takes two to three years in most scenarios and then it won’t work out, and the cycle repeats. I think most of the time it is because we don’t really know who the person is because the sex is sustaining the relationship until the sex slows down and you start to get to know the person and you’re not sure you like them. Or you accepted something for the first year, but now you’re not sure you can accept it long term. You deserve better and God wants the very best for you no matter what mistakes you have made or where you have been, He wants you to have the best version of life.”
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Franklin gives his perspective to singles who want to be married but haven’t found the right person yet.
“I think it is about shifting the focus off of when the “person” is going to arrive and focus on “who I am right now.” Many times we are reaching out for that next person and we are not doing the work we need to be doing in ourselves. I believe that singleness is a gift and we need to maximize it while we have it. When you are not single you can still do the work that needs to be done, but it becomes more challenging because you really have to be with somebody that is going to allow you to do that. So if God has allowed us that time [to be single], let’s not squander that time by wondering when the right person is going to show up. Wondering, worrying, self-doubt or loathing – all these things rob the power of our singleness so we end up getting into relationships and we are not nearly as whole as we could be. We would encourage singles to embrace this divine period of time and become who you need to be. Relationships will help add to you, but relationships do not make you. Getting married does not automatically heal your wounds from before you were married. Sometimes we expect marriage to magically make us happy and it doesn’t. Also, pick well. As a single person use your discernment, don’t just let someone waltz into your life that looks the part; are they the part? Do they have character, integrity, and ability to grow? Picking well, in accordance with God, saves you so many problems down the road.”
Wait. If you are single, pray and trust God with His timing. It may be hard if your friends are getting married or dating, but trust God that He has the perfect person for you in His timing. It can be challenging to understand God’s timing but know that He has your best in mind.
Take advantage of your time. Rather than get frustrated that you are single, take advantage of the time. Whether it is an opportunity to serve or a trip that you have been longing to take, pray and ask God how He would like you to use the time that He has entrusted to you. It is easy for us to get frustrated that we aren’t in a different stage of life. Take time over the weekend to serve someone in a different stage of life than you. It could be helping babysit for a family or driving an elderly friend. Often, when we get outside of our situation and experience other people’s realities, it helps us to become more appreciative of the stage of life or situation that we are in.
Surround yourself with wise counsel. If you are single or engaged, try and find someone that can mentor you. It can be helpful to meet with someone that has been married for at least 5-10 years. They can share with you some of the things that they have learned along the way including how to balance a marriage and career, how to navigate a relationship with children and how to honor God with your marriage. If you are married pray and ask God if there is a young couple or single person in your life that you could pour into.